1
00:00:01,936 --> 00:00:05,337
Three hundred dollars
in phone calls?
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:07,740
Sorry. I've been bored.
3
00:00:09,043 --> 00:00:12,611
Half of these phone calls
are to the phone in Lynn's room.
4
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:15,614
I've been lazy too.
5
00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:21,420
You federal expressed
a letter to Brian?
6
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,924
It absolutely, positively
had to be there.
7
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,560
[knock on door]
8
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,729
(Trevor)
'Hey, Tanners. It's us!'
9
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,400
ALF...kitchen.
10
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:37,369
No problem.
I'll call a cab.
11
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,705
You'll walk! Now!
12
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:43,409
One day, I'll walk
into that kitchen
13
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:45,644
and keep right on walking.
14
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,012
Oh!
15
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,547
(ALF)
'Ow!'
16
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,520
- Hi, Trevor, Raquel.
- Willie.
17
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,021
- Hi.
- What's up?
18
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:58,223
Tomorrow night
we're having a surprise party
19
00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,558
for our nephew, Jake.
20
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,226
To celebrate his passing
the eighth grade
21
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,028
after only one year.
22
00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:05,297
He's so smart, it's scary.
23
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,268
A $300 phone bill?
24
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:12,571
Yes, Raquel,
that's our phone bill.
25
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:16,175
Most of those calls are
to your daughter's phone number.
26
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:17,943
We're a close family.
27
00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:21,814
So what's your
repondez, s'il vous plait?
28
00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:25,918
- I'm sure we can all be there.
- Terrific.
29
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,587
The party begins at 8:00,
we'll break the pinata at 9:00.
30
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,322
- See you then.
- Toodles.
31
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,795
A pinata! A pinata!
32
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,797
Let me at it!
33
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:42,267
Oh, ALF, you know
you have to stay here.
34
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,602
Great!
35
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:47,506
A party where stuff gets broken
and I can't go!
36
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,810
[theme music]
37
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,457
[no audio]
38
00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,696
[no audio]
39
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:17,803
[no audio]
40
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:24,877
[no audio]
41
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,938
[instrumental music]
42
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:58,877
Oh, hi, ALF.
43
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:01,613
Hey, didn't you see
the sign on the door?
44
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:07,152
"Genius at work."
45
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:08,687
I'm sorry.
46
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,689
I didn't make the connection.
47
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:11,957
- Aah.
- Yeah, yeah.
48
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:15,327
Hey, as long as you're here,
check this out.
49
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,695
"Do not be afraid.
50
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:20,165
"I'm a superior being
from the planet Melmac.
51
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:24,069
And even on Melmac, I was
considered above average."
52
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:29,208
Of course, they did
grade on a curve.
53
00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,742
Read on.
54
00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:34,213
"I'm not a God.
55
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,914
"There is no reason to kneel.
56
00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,618
Okay, if you insist."
57
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,455
Works for me. You?
58
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:48,961
I assume this is more
than a typing lesson.
59
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,898
It's my press release.
60
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,935
I've decided to reveal
myself to the world.
61
00:03:56,937 --> 00:03:59,004
This way I can meet new people.
62
00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:02,474
Travel.
See a Grateful Dead concert.
63
00:04:04,278 --> 00:04:07,746
I don't think the authorities
would even let you out in public
64
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,015
much less become a deadhead.
65
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:13,051
You'd become
government property.
66
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:16,154
That's fine,
as long as I've got my freedom.
67
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,524
Don't you understand?
68
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:22,561
You'll have no freedom.
69
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,796
What are you saying?
I'd have no freedom?
70
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,432
Yes!
71
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,967
Think about it, ALF.
72
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:32,704
You'd-you'd become a specimen
on a shelf.
73
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,140
You'd be alone in a lab.
74
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:40,479
Doomed to spend each
and every day in isolation.
75
00:04:40,481 --> 00:04:43,849
Look at this.
They've got me wired for cable.
76
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,786
Let's see.
77
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,188
Which was the button
for a cheeseburger?
78
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,158
Uh..
79
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,395
[electricity crackling]
Aah!
80
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:59,131
Oh, that's not it!
81
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,565
Uh..
82
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,970
[electricity crackling]
Aah!
83
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,572
Oh, I've got to label
these buttons.
84
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:17,716
Great. I wiped out half my
childhood memories for celery!
85
00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:24,356
Hey, you! Come here.
86
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:25,657
Yes?
87
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,294
How did you get out
of your cage?
88
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,029
I work here.
89
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,331
Sorry.
90
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,999
Uh, look
91
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:37,002
I'll give you five bucks if
you'll let me out of this cage.
92
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:40,339
Ten, if you clean it
while I'm out.
93
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,174
Can't do it.
94
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:43,809
Please.
95
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,510
Look, I-I've got
to get out of here.
96
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,347
I've got a family.
I've got a life.
97
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:50,982
I've got a cake in the oven!
98
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:52,317
I guess you should've thought
about that
99
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:55,220
before you exposed yourself
to the world
100
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,956
Specimen A-L-F/1.
101
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:02,728
I'm not a specimen.
I'm a spaceman.
102
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:05,097
Get the teeth fixed, Boris.
103
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,766
[ALF sighs]
104
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,003
[electricity crackling]
105
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,773
Well, I guess there's still
no word from the governor.
106
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:20,612
Well, you're living in the
Dark Ages, Willie or won't he?
107
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,915
Alright, what do you think
would happen
108
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,551
if you went public
with this?
109
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,354
If I revealed myself
to the world
110
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,923
I could become...a star.
111
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:34,393
- Could not.
- Could too.
112
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:37,596
I might even get
my own TV show.
113
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:41,066
A poignant drama
about my generation.
114
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,403
We'll call it "230 something."
115
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,508
Keep dreaming.
116
00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,343
It's not a dream, Willie.
117
00:06:51,345 --> 00:06:53,278
This could really happen.
118
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:57,416
Hey, maybe I'll host a talk show
like David Letterman.
119
00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,985
I have a gap between my teeth.
120
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,756
[audience cheering]
121
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:09,294
My, oh, my.
We're having some fun tonight.
122
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:12,697
Later on "Stupid Pet Tricks,"
you'll see a cat
123
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:15,434
do a 50 foot dive into my mouth.
124
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:17,536
[laughs]
125
00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:19,171
[glass shatters]
126
00:07:20,574 --> 00:07:22,073
Oh, I almost forgot.
127
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:24,476
Say hello to Willie Tanner,
ladies and gentlemen.
128
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:27,212
[applauding]
129
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,948
Hi, babe.
130
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,284
I want to thank you
for bringing me on board
131
00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:34,686
after you fired Paul Shaffer.
132
00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:38,123
Oh, you're welcome.
133
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:43,295
Willie boy, he does it all,
including my laundry. Ha! Ha!
134
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:51,870
May I say, you are the best
dressed dude in the biz.
135
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:56,741
Yes, you may.
136
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:58,577
[glass shattering]
137
00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,413
Let's bring out
my first guest
138
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:03,648
Ms. Sandy Dunkin.
139
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,816
[audience applauding]
140
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:08,053
[instrumental music]
141
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:13,325
[audience cheering]
142
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,526
[audience whistling]
143
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,795
[kissing]
144
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,930
- Hey, nice outfit.
- Thanks.
145
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,733
You buy anything else
at Sher's garage sale?
146
00:08:23,604 --> 00:08:26,505
Ha ha. Just kidding.
147
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,139
What have you been up to?
148
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,674
Um, well..
149
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:33,879
I've been doing a new series
called "Valerie's Family."
150
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,947
Ah, "Valerie's Family."
151
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,782
That's the one where
they killed off the mother
152
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,518
to give you her job, right?
153
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,889
No, no, no. That's not
actually what happened.
154
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,891
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's your story.
155
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,692
No, no, no. Really, it wa..
Forget it.
156
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:50,996
Um, ALF, it's-it's good
to be here with you.
157
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:54,866
I haven't done the show
since you got rid of David.
158
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,469
Well, I didn't at least
kill him to get the job.
159
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:03,842
You know the longer I sit here,
the more I miss David.
160
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:07,379
Take elevator five
he's running that now.
161
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,916
We'll be right back after
this word from our sponsor.
162
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,918
Maybe you will be.
163
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,822
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
164
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,925
What?
165
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,861
You've got
a vivid imagination, ALF.
166
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:26,264
And a surprisingly
big ego, babe.
167
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:31,503
You're dangerously close to
losing the bandleader gig, man.
168
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:36,007
I don't wanna be
a bandleader.
169
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:40,278
I just want you to think
before you do something stupid.
170
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,715
Would inviting ten newspapers
to a press conference
171
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,951
be considered stupid?
172
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,820
- Yes!
- Then you're too late.
173
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:53,091
You called ten newspapers?
174
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:56,027
And a couple of TV stations.
175
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,530
Tomorrow at 1:00 p.m.
176
00:09:58,532 --> 00:10:03,268
I shall expose myself
to the world.
177
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,936
No.
178
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,137
You're right.
179
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,607
Maybe I should
put on some pants.
180
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,847
[instrumental music]
181
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,052
No reporters yet.
182
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:22,587
I can't believe it.
183
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:26,324
This is the worst thing
that ALF has ever done.
184
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,826
Maybe the reporters
won't even come.
185
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,961
Maybe they thought
ALF was a crank.
186
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,464
Well, at least one
reporter is coming.
187
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,132
I promised him whiskey.
188
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:38,403
Why are you dressed
in that getup?
189
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,971
Showmanship, babe.
190
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,473
- ALF..
- Hey.
191
00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:44,376
My real space suit
looks like a hefty bag.
192
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,179
Look, I just wanna be free.
193
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:51,583
As free as the wind blows.
194
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:54,085
As free as the grass grows.
195
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:58,256
Born free to follow my heart.
196
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:03,094
ALF, we understand how you feel,
but you've got to realize--
197
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:06,831
Live free
as beauty surrounds me.
198
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:09,401
The world still astounds me.
199
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,038
Hi, dad.
200
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,973
- Did you get it?
- Yeah.
201
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,509
ALF, I've got something for you.
202
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:21,780
- Oh, a coming-out present!
- Not exactly.
203
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,249
A videotape. Alright!
204
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:29,954
Wait a minute.
This is a documentary.
205
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,257
Just the antidote
for my boredom.
206
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:36,728
I want you to watch this, ALF.
207
00:11:36,730 --> 00:11:38,496
What's that?
208
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,298
It's a Ugandan orangutan.
209
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,701
What's he throwing
at the camera?
210
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:45,403
Never mind.
211
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:48,640
Here, this is the part
I want you to watch.
212
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:51,342
(man on TV)
'The Ugandan orangutan
had become extinct'
213
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,511
'except for this last
remaining male'
214
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,980
'as there were no females
with which to breed.'
215
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,649
I know the feeling.
216
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,052
'This last Ugandan orangutan'
217
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,221
'was ultimately
captured and isolated'
218
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,323
'until its death last year.'
219
00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:09,094
'Scientists speculate the
animal died of loneliness.'
220
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,530
That was nice.
221
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,433
Oh, I think I hear
the reporter coming.
222
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,003
ALF, don't you understand?
223
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:22,373
You could end up
just like that poor animal.
224
00:12:22,375 --> 00:12:25,677
That won't happen to me.
I'm one of a kind.
225
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,880
So was the orangutan.
226
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:31,249
All that proves
is that orangutans
227
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:34,018
don't live well in captivity.
228
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,454
Do aliens?
229
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,922
I don't know.
230
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:41,359
I've never been captivated.
231
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:43,561
Not yet.
232
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,063
[gasps]
233
00:12:45,065 --> 00:12:46,765
[doorbell dings]
234
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,300
Blimey, what have I done?
235
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,069
Hide me! Hide me! Hide me!
236
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,237
Where are you going?
237
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:53,404
I wanna be alone.
238
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,141
Come on, Brian, keep me company.
239
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,279
Hello.
240
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:04,082
I'm here for the media event
of the century.
241
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,817
It's been canceled.
242
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:08,086
Whiskey been canceled too?
243
00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:10,355
- Yes.
- Figures.
244
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,794
ALF, are you alright?
245
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:18,830
Yeah.
246
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,166
But if Robin Leach calls back
247
00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:24,202
just say, "ALF who?"
248
00:13:25,572 --> 00:13:26,805
[sighs]
249
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,216
ALF?
250
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,352
[yawning]
251
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:46,057
Welcome to ALF-catraz.
252
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,827
How was the party tonight?
253
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:53,665
Oh, it was okay, I guess.
254
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,834
Jake broke the pinata.
255
00:13:55,836 --> 00:14:00,271
Trevor bruised a couple
of ribs diving for the candy.
256
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:03,274
ALF..
257
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,678
...what are you doing?
258
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,948
When Melmacians try
to drown our sorrows
259
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:13,518
we gravitate towards
cheap imitation porcelain.
260
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:18,356
I'll have you know,
this is expensive
261
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,426
imitation porcelain.
262
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,195
We also eat more.
263
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,866
How is that possible?
264
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:31,803
Well, our spare stomachs
open up.
265
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:36,374
By the way, don't bother looking
for your laxative on a rope.
266
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:41,079
Oh, you mean my soap on a rope?
267
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:43,147
Trust me on this one.
268
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,586
Here you go, ALF.
269
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,789
Oh, wow,
you really are depressed.
270
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,728
I need something
to wash this down.
271
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,229
Got any ketchup?
272
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,198
Coming right up.
273
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,733
Dad, we've got to do
something about this.
274
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,268
You're right.
275
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:06,337
You may not want
to watch this, Willie.
276
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,673
Oh, I've seen you
eat before, ALF.
277
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,642
[chomping]
278
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,422
(Kate)
'Get out of this bathroom!'
279
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,058
'I am going to take a bath,
and that's final.'
280
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,459
[door closes]
281
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:32,230
(ALF)
'Fine! I'll go sulk
in the kids' bathroom.'
282
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,698
Um, before you do that, ALF
283
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,800
could you come out here
for a moment?
284
00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:37,769
Sure, why not?
285
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:41,606
It's not like I was born free
to follow my heart or anything.
286
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,945
(all)
Surprise!
287
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,614
Willie, intruder alert!
288
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:53,051
I've been seen by
a vicious snarling mob.
289
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:56,321
[indistinct chatter]
290
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:59,524
Hey, hey, wait a minute.
I know this mob.
291
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:03,728
We've invited everyone
who's ever met you.
292
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:05,063
Were you surprised?
293
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,265
Heck no. I knew it all along.
294
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,499
[murmuring]
295
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,635
I guess, you are shaking
'cause you are cold.
296
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:14,172
Hey, I just got out of the tub.
297
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,974
How's it going Jake-o'-lantern?
298
00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:17,141
Great, give me five!
299
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,944
Here's four. I owe you one!
Ha! Ha!
300
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:22,747
- How you doing, ALF?
- Larry, my shrink!
301
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:26,317
Hey, nice to see you
when I'm not wacko.
302
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,219
I challenge that.
303
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,289
Grandma Dorothy.
304
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,258
How's your much
younger husband, Wizzer?
305
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,862
Always a pleasure.
306
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,530
Look, ALF, Jody's here.
307
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:42,967
"Citizen Kane!" Yeah!
Nice to see you.
308
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:44,502
Nice not to see you.
309
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,938
Ha! Ha! What a kidder!
310
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:50,108
- Hey, watch out for the lamp!
- Oh.
311
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,343
ALF, we wanted
to show you that
312
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,513
your world isn't as
limited as you thought.
313
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,281
We know it's not
the same as going out
314
00:16:57,283 --> 00:17:00,184
and making new friends,
but we hope it helps.
315
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:03,388
I couldn't ask for more.
316
00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,655
Where are the presents?
317
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,358
- 'Oh!'
- Presents?
318
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,027
Presents?
We gave you presents
319
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:14,699
at Christmas and at your
birthday and on St. Melmac's Day
320
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:18,236
which I really doubt was
all that big a holiday anyway.
321
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:21,205
Hey, forget the presents.
322
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:24,475
I guess it's enough
that my friends
323
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:27,278
and Dorothy are here.
324
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:31,849
Surprise!
325
00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,551
Oh, boy!
326
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,754
Friends with presents
are the best kind of friends
327
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,891
and Dorothy.
328
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:41,059
[laughing]
329
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,230
(ALF)
'I'll open your
present next, Jody.'
330
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:49,767
(Jody)
'Well, I'm just gonna have
to take your word for that.'
331
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,502
[laughing]
332
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:54,906
Oh, a sweater!
333
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,374
Thank you, Jody.
334
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:57,675
You're welcome, ALF.
335
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,243
Now you can get
rid of that ratty one
336
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:01,079
you're always wearing.
337
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,349
I better start
using a conditioner.
338
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:08,920
She thinks ALF's fur
is a sweater.
339
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:14,358
I'm sorry, Larry,
didn't I warn you?
340
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,762
Jody doesn't know
ALF's an alien.
341
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,264
- Uh-oh.
- What?
342
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:23,101
Well, I told her about the time
ALF ate your tennis racket
343
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:26,003
because he thought
the strings were made of catgut.
344
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,575
Hey, thanks, Dorothy.
345
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:34,212
I always wanted to learn
how to play jai alai.
346
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,881
It's a Dustbuster.
347
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,549
I know that.
348
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,885
I was being whimsical.
349
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,653
I thought you could
get off your duff
350
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,956
and do a little housework.
351
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,258
You shouldn't have.
352
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:49,127
I really mean it!
353
00:18:49,129 --> 00:18:51,129
ALF, I didn't have any money
354
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,164
so I fixed the CD player
you broke.
355
00:18:53,166 --> 00:18:54,899
Oh, great!
356
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,801
- Oh!
- 'ALF.'
357
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,036
My birthday is in six months.
358
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,941
Um, Brian come here.
359
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,309
[indistinct whispering]
360
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:08,012
Speech! Speech!
361
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,114
[indistinct chattering]
362
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:13,985
Well, unaccustomed as I am
to public speaking
363
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:17,421
as there's very seldom
a public here to speak to
364
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:19,423
I'll be brief.
365
00:19:19,425 --> 00:19:21,492
I wouldn't put money on that.
366
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,693
Mom, shh.
367
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:26,597
Actually, I just
wanted to say that
368
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,634
I never realized
how good I have it.
369
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:32,637
I don't need to go out
and make new friends.
370
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:37,208
I already have the best friends
including Dorothy
371
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,776
anyone could have.
372
00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:44,182
Oh, why, ALF, thank you.
Thank you very..
373
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,684
¶ Dottie's gonna cry ¶¶
374
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,786
Oh, stop it! I am not.
375
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,988
[knock on door]
'Hey, Tanners! It's us.'
376
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,824
Oh, no. It's Trevor.
Well, he wasn't invited.
377
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,426
Yeah, that never stops him.
378
00:19:57,130 --> 00:20:01,199
I think just for a change
of pace, I'll..
379
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,636
[chuckles]
...hide in the kitchen.
380
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,506
Ha! I kill us.
381
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,208
Well, why is ALF hiding?
382
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:12,810
- Well, uh--
- He owes the Ochmoneks money.
383
00:20:14,147 --> 00:20:16,247
[sighs]
I thought you said
they were going out tonight.
384
00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:18,616
They always go
dancing on Saturdays.
385
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,919
- Oh, hello.
- Hi.
386
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:25,089
We were wondering
if you knew where Jake went?
387
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,824
R-right here!
388
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,896
Oh, you're having a party.
389
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,397
How interesting.
390
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,066
And we weren't invited?
391
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,068
After having them over
last night!
392
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,437
Now, now, Trevor,
I'm sure the Tanners
393
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,839
had a very good reason
for stiffing us.
394
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:47,545
Well, it's not a party party.
395
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:51,015
It's a Tupperware party.
396
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:54,919
Oh, you mean the party
where you have to buy stuff?
397
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:55,886
Gotta dance!
398
00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:58,289
But I will have
a slab of that cake.
399
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,391
I'll get a couple of plates.
400
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:02,927
Thanks. Bring Raquel one too.
401
00:21:07,133 --> 00:21:08,933
I'm sorry for the interruption.
402
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,701
No problem.
403
00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:13,638
I enjoy the challenge
of avoiding those two.
404
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,007
- It keeps me young.
- Not me.
405
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,609
Hey, Willie..
406
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,112
...thanks for the party
and everything.
407
00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:23,714
It's nice to know
there's someone around
408
00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:26,284
to save me from myself.
409
00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,719
You're welcome, pal!
410
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:30,621
(Raquel)
'Willie, I need a doggie bag.'
411
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,290
(Kate)
'Raquel, don't go in there.'
412
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:34,692
Ah, the game is afoot.
413
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:46,971
[piano music]
414
00:21:54,147 --> 00:21:56,647
ALF, aren't you
having a good time?
415
00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:59,817
Yeah, I'm just sick
of Larry telling that story
416
00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:02,320
about me eating
the tennis racket.
417
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:05,990
So, there he was with the handle
sticking out of his mouth!
418
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:09,126
I can't believe I invited
them all back tomorrow.
419
00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:10,428
You what?
420
00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:13,864
They're my friends and Dorothy.
421
00:22:13,866 --> 00:22:17,835
Besides, I could use
the extra presents.
422
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,170
(Larry)
Encore, encore.
423
00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:20,304
Willie, Willie
424
00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:22,139
do you know
"And The Band Played On?"
425
00:22:22,141 --> 00:22:24,275
Well, I sure do.
426
00:22:24,277 --> 00:22:26,110
Well, play it!
427
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,880
[piano music]
428
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:33,684
¶ Casey would waltz
with a strawberry blond ¶
429
00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:37,555
¶ And the band played on ¶
430
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:41,859
¶ And on and on and on and on ¶
431
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:45,363
¶ And on ¶
¶ And the band played on ¶
432
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:49,233
¶ His brain was so loaded
it nearly exploded ¶
433
00:22:49,235 --> 00:22:53,003
¶ The poor girl would
shake with alarm ¶
434
00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:56,707
¶ He married the girl
with the strawberry curl ¶
435
00:22:56,709 --> 00:23:02,079
¶ And the band played on-n-n ¶¶
436
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:05,282
[theme music]